Love/Hate @ 32 Weeks

32 weeks. Scary, really, that I have, at most, 10 more weeks of pregnancy to go. With all of my other babies I was already feeling done with pregnancy by now. I was eager to meet my baby, and be done with the whole pregnancy thing.

I don't feel that way this time. I wouldn't mind if I stayed pregnant another 12 weeks, or 14 weeks. I am savoring every moment of having my baby inside me, and trying to remember exactly how it feels to have a watermelon belly, because I know I won't ever do this again, so long as I live. I will never, ever, ever stare at two lines on a pregnancy test, or spend three months barfing my head off, or have a tiny bump in my lower belly, or feel those early flutters, or spend an evening with baby feet in my ribs and hiccups below my navel.



There are a few things I could do without, though. Heartburn, for one. I have the worst heartburn, and nothing helps it. Nothing I try prevents it, and I can't even reassure myself with "Maybe the baby will have hair," because my babies never have hair. They never have anything more than the tiniest peach fuzz. Even at two years old, my baby Beast has baby hair, short and wispy, with a few strawberry blonde curls in the back.



I wish I didn't have pelvic pain. It's terrible pain. It feels like my pubic bone is split in half and my legs are falling out of my hip sockets. Yolanda says this is good and normal for a multipara. She also said my abdominal muscle tone is phenomenal, especially since I'm having my fifth baby. (This is funny, because non-pregnant, I'm pretty sure I don't even have abdominal muscles.)



I hate the nosebleeds that always accompany pregnancy for me. They strike at the most inopportune times, usually when I don't have any tissue with me.



I would really like it if my cervix would cooperate. I haven't been checked, of course, but I can tell my cervix is ripening slowly, preparing for birth, and it doesn't feel good. It feels like the baby is sticking it's little finger through it, and it hurts. It's not an indicator of preterm labor for me, just my normal.



Otherwise, I love being pregnant. I love feeling all the baby's movements, and guessing about whether it will be a boy or a girl. I really like the way my belly looks - perfectly round and taut. I love the special bond the baby and I share. I don't understand women who want their pregnancies to be over as quickly as possible.