Thursday, June 25, 2009
I've never been so upset in my life. I can't shake the feeling that I am going to be sick. My children overheard me talking to The Hub about this, and they went in their room and packed their overnight bags. "I don't care about my toys," EJ said. "But we can't forget Bingo and Petey." Unfortunately, Bingo and Petey will probably need to find new homes as well. We have nowhere to go and there's no place for us to rent, and if I can't find a place for my children I sure as hell can't find a place for my dogs.
But the scariest thing is that last night I started having lots of painful contractions. I'm somewhere between 24 and 26 weeks, so this is a BIG problem. I've been keeping myself well hydrated and watching the contractions carefully in case I need to go to the hospital. I don't know what preterm labor feels like, because my babies are always late, but I suspect it feels something like real labor, which is how the contractions felt last night. Today they are milder and I can't feel them on the outside anymore, which I think is a good sign. But I could really use any "baby stay in" vibes you might have. The last thing I need is a micro-preemie on top of everything. And I'm so early that I don't know how good of a chance at life the baby would have if it was born right now.
I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm just stressing.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I'm not sure what it is - hives or PUPPP or what. But it sucks, big time.
It started out a few days ago, with a couple little bumps on my side, where a bra band might go (if I were one to wear a bra, which I am not. Call me a hippie, I don't care.) I thought the bumps were bug bites, because they itched so bad. I thought maybe I had bedbugs or something but no one else in my family has them, not even The Babe, who sleeps with me every night. [Aside: doesn't the thought of bedbugs just freak you out? I have actually lost sleep over them, and I don't even have them.]
So I forgot about the bumps, except to itch them. Until the next day when I woke up and there were like ten of them all down my side, over my rib cage. Now I was really freaked out. Did fleas somehow get into my house? Did my screen have a hole in it where mosquitoes could get in?
I bathed the dogs. No fleas. I checked the screens. No holes.
That afternoon I found bumps all over my belly.
Then on my legs. And my feet. And tonight, my face. All over my damn face.
The bumps look like flat mosquito bites and they itch like the devil. I think they might be hives, but why? I haven't introduced anything into the house to cause this. No new detergents or anything in the clothes, and no new air fresheners or anything like that. I know some people get hives when they're stressed, but I really wouldn't say I've been under any undue stress - I mean, other than the weird OCD shit I put myself through every day. Yikes - as I type this, I can actually see a bump emerging on my knee. I can feel them emerging on my scalp. I think they're even in my ears.
I looked up PUPPP, which stands for something really long but basically means big itchy bumps you get when you're pregnant. Everything I found says PUPPP only occurs in first pregnancies and it only occurs in the third trimester. (It also said 70% of moms who get it give birth to boys. Interesting.)
I see the midwife tomorrow so hopefully she can shed some light on this. I wonder if it has to do with The Babe having thrush for the past week or so? He also had a high fever for a few days, I wonder if he was fighting off measles or something. My own vaccinations have long ago expired so its realistic, although improbable, that it could be something weird like measles.
Now I'm off to apply calamine, liberally and with gusto.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
If this baby is a boy, his namr will be Ewan. But what middle name? Daniel? Too biblical... ugh. Not my style. Ewan James is nice, but that's The Babe's middle name. Ewan Elyas? I think I like that - Ewan Elyas. His initials would be EES, not too weird right? Don't know if Hubs'll go for it though...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
This time, though, I have a midwife. And what a difference. The care I've received so far from my midwife (who is not a nurse or other medical professional - just a midwife) has been 180 degrees from the care I received from an obstetrician. Yolanda focuses on nutrition and exercise. She encourages spirituality and communication with the unborn baby. She doesn't treat pregnancy as a disease because - gasp - pregnancy isn't a disease.
Yolanda recommended a multi that's made from all vegetable sources. It's not as "complete" as synthetic multi-vitamins, but it contains 100% real ingredients that the body can use. I was skeptical, but since I've been taking it, I feel absolutely fantastic.
I have more energy than I've ever had before, and the edge of depression that always lingers within me seems to rear it's head less and less. I'm hoping that I can ward off postpartum depression by replenishing my body with vital nutrients. I've also got three months worth of Wellbutrin that I plan to start taking the day the baby is born. (The baby will get far less medication through breastmilk than he or she will if I take it prenatally. If the baby didn't get much prenatally, I'd start it in the final weeks of pregnancy.)
Monday, June 8, 2009
So its cool to have a homebirth because I don't need to write "please don't give me an iv" or "don't circumcise my son" or any of the other stuff you have to worry about, because its all impossible! You're at home! Yay!
But there are a few things I'm thinking about. In no particular order (and assuming you're the midwife, which I am quite aware you are not.)
Please don't cut the cord until it stops pulsing.
Please don't wipe the baby off, unless there is mucus that needs to be wiped off the face to facilitate breathing. I would like to give the baby his or her first bath.
Please don't announce the baby's gender. We'd like to discover that on our own.
Please don't punch me in the belly to make the placenta detach, like the obstetricians do in the hospital. If possible, please just let the placenta detach on it's own, even if it takes a few hours.
Please don't do any internal exams unless I feel "pushy."
Please don't coach me in pushing, and don't make me hold my breath during pushing.
Please don't adminster eye drops or a vitamin K shot to my newborn.
--- > I'm sure there's more. I'll add to the list when I think of something.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
So if you read Two Under Two, or if you know me in real life, you know that we have no income right now. The Hub got laid off at the end of April (but the layoff took effect the first part of May.) He thought he was going back June first, then they changed it to June 8th, and this morning they called and said he would get a call back, that they weren't setting a new return to work date. Great.
This has been upsetting because I need money to pay the midwife. Her fee is $2200, which includes prenatal care and the home birth. I just assumed that insurance would not cover this, since they pretty much cover nothing. Heck I still owe $3000 from The Babe's birth in September. I did eventually call BCBS, and they said only certified nurse midwives and hospital births were covered. Wasted phone call, I figured.
Well anyway. I signed up for Medicaid when The Hub got laid off, because I wanted to make sure I had medical coverage for the kids if there was an accident or something. So far we still have the private insurance, but Medicaid is picking up co-pays and will become primary if we lose the BCBS. Medicaid also pays for things that BCBS didn't, like certain prescriptions and stuff. I don't like being on state assistance, because I'm a very proud person, but my children's needs come before my pride.
Today I got a piece of paper in the mail from Health Plan of Michigan, which is the HMO that Medicaid automatically put our family into. It said that they thought I was pregnant (Big Brother much? Sheesh!) and that I should call them to get authorization for an OB/GYN.
Well, I thought. I better call them and have an OB/GYN on standby, in case something goes wrong. It can't hurt, right?
So I called them. And I told them that my midwife is a CPM, not a CNM, and that I would be having a homebirth. The lady was not at all judgemental, and did give me authorization to see any OB on suchandsuch a list. This is good also because if I should need hospital transfer, the Medicaid will cover the portion that BCBS doesn't.
BUT LISTEN TO THIS.
Medicaid will pay for my prenatal care with Yolanda!!! THEY WILL PAY THE PRENATAL PORTION OF THE $2200!!!!
They do not cover homebirth, big surprise, but they will cover the services of a CPM for prenatal care. (They would also cover her services if I gave birth in a hospital.)
This means I do not need to freak out about finding 2200 extra dollars in our screamingly tight budget! Even if prenatal care accounts for just a quarter of the total, which I doubt, but even if it does, that's a portion that I don't have to worry about!!
I don't pray, but I did put out a call to the Universe to please help me find a way to pay for the midwife. Apparently, the Universe was receptive! This is the best news I've heard in a very long time!