I've got The Itch.
I'm not sure what it is - hives or PUPPP or what. But it sucks, big time.
It started out a few days ago, with a couple little bumps on my side, where a bra band might go (if I were one to wear a bra, which I am not. Call me a hippie, I don't care.) I thought the bumps were bug bites, because they itched so bad. I thought maybe I had bedbugs or something but no one else in my family has them, not even The Babe, who sleeps with me every night. [Aside: doesn't the thought of bedbugs just freak you out? I have actually lost sleep over them, and I don't even have them.]
So I forgot about the bumps, except to itch them. Until the next day when I woke up and there were like ten of them all down my side, over my rib cage. Now I was really freaked out. Did fleas somehow get into my house? Did my screen have a hole in it where mosquitoes could get in?
I bathed the dogs. No fleas. I checked the screens. No holes.
That afternoon I found bumps all over my belly.
Then on my legs. And my feet. And tonight, my face. All over my damn face.
The bumps look like flat mosquito bites and they itch like the devil. I think they might be hives, but why? I haven't introduced anything into the house to cause this. No new detergents or anything in the clothes, and no new air fresheners or anything like that. I know some people get hives when they're stressed, but I really wouldn't say I've been under any undue stress - I mean, other than the weird OCD shit I put myself through every day. Yikes - as I type this, I can actually see a bump emerging on my knee. I can feel them emerging on my scalp. I think they're even in my ears.
I looked up PUPPP, which stands for something really long but basically means big itchy bumps you get when you're pregnant. Everything I found says PUPPP only occurs in first pregnancies and it only occurs in the third trimester. (It also said 70% of moms who get it give birth to boys. Interesting.)
I see the midwife tomorrow so hopefully she can shed some light on this. I wonder if it has to do with The Babe having thrush for the past week or so? He also had a high fever for a few days, I wonder if he was fighting off measles or something. My own vaccinations have long ago expired so its realistic, although improbable, that it could be something weird like measles.
Now I'm off to apply calamine, liberally and with gusto.