Ean is one month old today. A whole month! This month has gone by faster than any month I've ever experienced.
Ean gave me something wonderful for his one month birthday - a smile! A real smile! We were soaking in the tub, and I had him lying on his back on my arms, completely submerged except for his head, which he loves. I was singing to him and smiling, and he gazed into my face and then broke out into a huge grin!
I am so happy this time around. I had a week or two with awful depression, but that's gone now and I really feel happy. This is such a different experience for me. Usually the depression doesn't go away until a year or more (or I get pregnant, whichever comes first!) But this time, it went away just like baby blues are supposed to. I feel strong and capable. I feel especially good after a shower, because The Hub, having spent twenty minutes alone with all five kids, says to me, "Honey, I don't know how you do it. I could never take care of them full time like you do." That just makes my day, and when times do get rough, like in the evening when Ean is crying and fussy, I just remember that, and it makes me feel so much better.