Monday, June 8, 2009

"Birth Plan"

I'm really glad to be having a home birth, because I don't have to have a strict birth plan. Birth plans are stupid, because you spend all this time making one, and then you get to the hsopital and they might as well tear it up right in front of you, because they don't take anything you wrote seriously.

So its cool to have a homebirth because I don't need to write "please don't give me an iv" or "don't circumcise my son" or any of the other stuff you have to worry about, because its all impossible! You're at home! Yay!

But there are a few things I'm thinking about. In no particular order (and assuming you're the midwife, which I am quite aware you are not.)


Please don't cut the cord until it stops pulsing.

Please don't wipe the baby off, unless there is mucus that needs to be wiped off the face to facilitate breathing. I would like to give the baby his or her first bath.

Please don't announce the baby's gender. We'd like to discover that on our own.

Please don't punch me in the belly to make the placenta detach, like the obstetricians do in the hospital. If possible, please just let the placenta detach on it's own, even if it takes a few hours.

Please don't do any internal exams unless I feel "pushy."

Please don't coach me in pushing, and don't make me hold my breath during pushing.

Please don't adminster eye drops or a vitamin K shot to my newborn.

--- > I'm sure there's more. I'll add to the list when I think of something.


  1. how about this one: don't tell me to "not scream" when i'm in transition or when i'm pushing.

    seriously, how the hell are we supposed to deal with the pain? and yet, when i was in labor with h., the nurses kept telling me to "stop screaming." i felt like they wanted me to keep quiet so as not to disturb the rest of the laboring moms.

  2. I just had a home birth with my daughter. It was so amazing... SOO much better than the hospital experience I had with my son. I had no birth plan either.

    Good luck!! And congrats! :-)

  3. I'd think most of your requests would be par for the course w/a home birth - they were for both of mine. But, it is always good to be clear about what you want. I had hot compresses on my pernium w/my first son in between pushes and they were really soothing, but my second came too fast.


Thanks for your comments!